You know how Nairobi always seems to have a yearly “set book”? That one book everyone and their cousin is reading, quoting, and referencing like it’s a personality trait.
Last year, I think it was Atomic Habits or maybe It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. Honestly, I didn’t care. I didn’t get the hype.
But This Year? Oh, I Caught The Bug.
I read (okay, listened to) this year’s set book—drumroll please—The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. And let me tell you, it’s giving free therapy. This isn’t just another self-help book filled with clichés about positive thinking. No, this one hits differently.
It’s the mindset shift you didn’t know you needed, especially if you’re a chronic people-pleaser, an overthinker, or someone who just can’t seem to let things go.
What Is The Let Them Theory, And Why Is Everyone Talking About It?
The Let Them Theory is beautifully simple yet incredibly profound: If people want to do something, let them.
- If they want to leave, let them.
- If they don’t support you, let them.
- If they don’t see your worth, let them.
- If they exclude you from plans, let them.
At first glance, it might sound dismissive, like you’re giving up. But here’s the plot twist: It’s not about giving up on people; it’s about giving up the illusion that you can control them.
Why Do We Struggle To Let People Be?
Most of us are hardwired to seek approval. We want to be liked, valued, and included. It’s human nature. But the problem starts when this need for validation begins to control us.
We overthink that unanswered text. We replay awkward conversations in our heads. We try to “fix” situations, hoping that if we just explain ourselves one more time, people will finally get it.
Spoiler alert: They won’t. And that’s okay.
The Let Them Theory shifts your focus from trying to manage other people’s perceptions to simply managing your peace. Because let’s face it—your energy is too expensive to be spent on people who don’t value it.
How Can You Apply The Let Them Theory In Everyday Life?
1. What Should You Do When Friends Start Acting Distant?
You text a friend, and they take days to respond. You invite someone to hang out, and they bail last minute… again. Instead of spiralling into self-doubt, thinking, “Did I do something wrong?” just pause. Let them.
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, and that’s okay. Relationships should feel reciprocal, not like a constant audition where you’re trying to prove your worth.
2. What If Your Boss Doesn’t Appreciate Your Hard Work?
Do you have a colleague who treats your ideas like background noise? A boss who overlooks your contributions? Let them.
This doesn’t mean you stop striving for excellence. It means you stop tying your self-worth to someone else’s inability to recognize it. Focus on your growth, your skills, and your goals. Recognition is nice, but self-validation is priceless.
3. How Do You Handle Family Members Who Always Have Opinions On Your Life?
Family gatherings can sometimes feel like judgment arenas. “Why aren’t you married yet? When are you having kids? Why did you change jobs again?”
Instead of defending every life choice like you’re in a courtroom, smile and sip your tea. Let them. People will always have opinions, but that doesn’t mean you have to carry them.
4. Is Social Media Making You Crave Validation?
Posted a photo and it didn’t get as many likes as you hoped. Did someone leave a passive-aggressive comment? Let them.
The algorithm doesn’t define your worth, and neither do strangers on the internet. Post what makes you happy. Engage with what brings you joy. Life’s too short to stress over virtual approval.
Why Is It So Hard To Let People Do Their Own Thing?
We’re conditioned to believe that if we try hard enough, we can make people like us, understand us, or treat us the way we want. But life doesn’t work like that. The real work isn’t in getting people to change; it’s in accepting that you don’t need them to.
The hardest part about the Let Them Theory isn’t applying it—it’s unlearning the habits that made us think we had to control everything in the first place.
What Happens When You Let Them?
- You reclaim your energy. No more emotional exhaustion from chasing validation.
- You find peace. Acceptance is surprisingly freeing.
- You attract the right people. When you stop trying to fit into places where you don’t belong, you naturally gravitate towards spaces where you do.
What’s The Biggest Takeaway From The Let Them Theory?
Life gets a whole lot easier when you stop overthinking and start accepting. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will understand you. Not everyone will treat you the way you deserve.
Let them.
Because at the end of the day, the only person you need to convince is you. Your peace > their opinions. Period.
So drink your water, mind your business, and let them.
About Wambui Njuguna
Wambui Njuguna is a seasoned digital strategist, SEO expert, and content creator passionate about helping brands amplify their online presence.
With years of experience in content marketing, she specializes in crafting high-impact, search-optimized content that drives engagement and conversions.
Whether she’s writing about personal growth, tech trends, or business strategy, Wambui brings a unique blend of wit, insight, and expertise to every piece she creates.
Follow her for more insights on navigating the digital world—and life—with confidence.
#LetThemTheory #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth #LifeLessons #VibeCheck
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